be careful what you wish for
I’d like to talk about being careful about what we wish for. It doesn’t matter whether it is called manifesting, law of attraction, self-creation, cosmic ordering, wishful thinking, cause and effect, self-fulfilling prophecy, goal-setting and some might say prayer - all describe the process of, ‘we get what we focus on’.
If an emotion is attached to the thought it works even better. However, the ‘working better’ bit might not be what you want.
Many moons ago I worked with a young golfing professional who had anger issues. His anger only manifested playing golf. He would get tense, grind his teeth and had been known to throw his clubs into the lake. The tension interfered with his stroke which made him cross and he would spiral down. We worked on releasing it and created an inner mantra. I asked how he would know if he had calm focused control and he replied that his face and jaw would be soft like cotton wool. Each time he addressed the ball part of his routine was to think ‘cotton wool face’.
The change in him was profound and as a result I was invited to talk to the ladies at a very exclusive golf club after the competition presentations. I parked my car and while I was walking to the venue I saw many women that I would later talk to. My stomach lurched so much I felt sick and for a brief moment thought I might pass out. To say I felt terror would be an understatement. I couldn't work out what was happening. Each time I'd thought about this opportunity, which without a doubt it was, it had been exciting. But, here I was sweating, feeling faint, convinced they would think I was an imposter who knew nothing and with many other unpleasant doubts trundling through my mind. As it happens, public speaking is one of the top fears.
Except I didn't have that fear, or at least I didn't think I had.
What could I do? Turn and go home and make up a tale of woe without caring if anyone thought me flakey. Perhaps I could swoon, pass out in a drama queen way and get saved by the medics? The time taken to moot these solutions took the same amount of time as walking to the door, and the organiser spotted me. I then heard my inner voice saying, 'Just do it. What's the worst that can happen?'
In I went, gripped the microphone so tightly I thought my arm might fall off and had an absolute ball. It was brilliant. I loved it. Phew, all was well.
They quite liked it too as I was invited back to talk to another group and was gifted the use of a therapy room in the manor house to host clinics for their members.
While I was working there I had coffee with a journalist who was writing about the club. We chatted about all things to do with hypnosis and we touched on natural breast enhancement.
At this point I must, again, emphasise the importance of being careful what you wish for. The Universe will, without fail, deliver your desires.
A few months after chatting with Cheryl she called to say she had commissions for features on breast enhancement. The first being The Times - gulp.
Around about this time I was signed by the literary agent, Serafina Clarke, who represented Joanne Harris, among others, and we put together a book proposal on natural breast enhancement for her to pitch.
The feature went out in the Sunday Times' Style magazine, in which I talked about breast enhancement with hypnosis.
All hell or heaven, depending which way up you are, broke loose. I was flavour of the month with radio, newspaper and magazine interviews. Two TV offers floated my way after I agreed to the first.
It was an invitation to Nottingham to film at the Carlton Studios in a programme featuring Liz Earle. Off I went to Nottingham and ensconced myself in the rather splendid hotel that Carlton had paid for. A delicious supper was delivered to my room and I lolled on the bed watching TV. All I could think was 'this is the life'.
It then all went pear-shaped. I tripped over an imaginary step on my way into the bathroom and felt a twinge in my back. I laughed and thought 'That was lucky, I might have hurt myself.' About an hour later I tried to get up from the bed and found I couldn't move. My whole lower back was in spasm and the pain was excruciating.
Oh, not good. I lay there in tears, hours from home, all alone in a miserable hotel room that up until then had been bliss.
Being a hypnotist meant I could reduce the pain but I think we shouldn't remove all symptoms in case we cause more damage. As for the spasm, it was there to stay. I had the most miserable night and at about 6 in the morning I could bear it no more. Have you guessed the ending? I was carted off in an ambulance to be put into the care of the Nottingham General. It may well have taken a few years but I got my wish from those thoughts at the golf club. It turned out I had prolapsed a disc above my previous spinal fusion.
Despite a few close publisher calls no-one wanted the book and that became a relief as I realised I might be known as hypno-tit.
After all these dramatics, I then developed an intermittent stage fright. Intermittent? Yes. A 'now and then' type fear. It was more stressful than having a full-on phobia. I didn't think that experience had given me the problem, it just reminded me it was in my psyche somewhere.
You’ll be pleased to know that I sorted it with self-hypnosis.
How do you get what you really want?
The theory of beliefs and attitudes affecting personal success was made famous by Napoleon Hill in his book, Think and Grow Rich. One of his best known quotes: ‘What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve’.
In 1908, Hill interviewed Andrew Carnegie, who, himself, believed that success was dependent on attitude. Together, after researching and interviews with many entrepreneurs, they published The Law of Success as a study course. Carnegie made and gave away millions of dollars.
How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice my dear, practice.
The same but updated version of these thoughts was reawakened by Barbel Mohr who created her book Cosmic Ordering in 1998 and who Noel Edmonds happily says was the reason behind his re-emergence into a successful TV career. From being dismissed by some as new-age fluff, many now live their lives with the belief of ‘what you think is what you get’.
The law of attraction really just means you notice what you think about. Imagine a type of car and soon there will seem to be more on the roads. When you are mindful you develop awareness.
Historically of course, we have all been living with the knowledge and we know that we reap what we sow, but few of us have given thought to what any of it actually means. Many of my clients struggle to believe they have control over their life, but when we start to reduce the process of day to day living into bite-sized nuggets of information, it dawns in that delicious way of ‘getting it’.
People tend to seek out the process of ordering from the Cosmos when they are feeling stuck or, more often, they are feeling cash poor. Something interesting I have observed is the connection between cosmic success, coincidence and serendipity. Some time ago my husband treated the whole family to a Greek holiday, nine of us, including our grandson, Vinnie, who was just a few months old. A couple of days before, Mick said he thought we should get a smaller buggy for Vinnie that would be easier to travel with on planes and ferries. I looked and there was a perfect one for £70, so we planned to get it the day before we went. On the Wednesday, my daughter Charlie and I were holiday shopping and I was queuing in the post office while she loaded the car. Suddenly, my mobile rang and it was a furious Charlie. A bird had pooped on her boobs while she was putting Vinnie in the car. She wasn’t happy! I was unable to be sympathetic as I was too busy laughing, but consoled her by saying it was lucky and we should get a lottery ticket on the way home.
We did and I thought no more of it until the following day when squeals of delight rang through the house, as we discovered we had four numbers correct. We won £71 which equated to the buggy and my original pound returned. I hadn’t wished to win the lottery to buy a buggy – my thoughts had been, ‘I’ll get cash to buy the buggy’. That was it.
What happened here? Confirmation bias? Maybe. Coincidence? Maybe. Luck? Maybe. Did I order it with my thoughts? Maybe. The fact was we had a nice new buggy and the money I would have spent bought us all a very nice Greek lunch.
And that is a good result whichever way up you are looking.
What are you manifesting, creating, wishing for?
Part 2 to follow
Dear sweet Serafina Clarke ~ I imagine her in heaven with a good book, a glass of red wine and laughing as she smokes a cheroot 💖
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